As of this moment I am listening to two 3 year olds playing some sort of house (at least I think its house, I can hear them asking for the vacuum and something about a forest.) They run in and out of the tent we built, sneaking up on me and screaming. I feel like doing the same, not to scare them mind you, just to scream. Its funny what 3 year olds talk about, something about toothbrushes and monsters. I like how their "dogs" have a different name every time they say their names.
I enjoyed listening to our RS lesson about finding Joy in the Journey. Live in the moment, build for future memories. As I sat there listening, they said to enjoy the finger prints, the toys will not always be there and it wont always be like this. I agree, but here is where I'm stumped. If my house is always messy, it stresses me out. A clean house = a happy Jackie. Granted, dinner from last night will not always end up on the floor, I will miss this I tell myself. Yeah. I leaned over to my friend and said if I only ever played with my kids and did no cleaning, my house would fall apart in a week. What about cleaning at night you ask. Really? Did you just ask that? The time I have with Trent is so limited that yes, we sit and enjoy the hour before bed by talking or laughing. Plus I'm dead tired when the sun goes down, no chance of cleaning then
Here's where I'm stumped again. I get the idea that you want to create a happy environment for your kids, does that include buying them things every time they ask? I don't want them to think I never did anything for them. But lately Jonas is on a candy kick when we go to the grocery store. Do I buy if for him thus we have a happy boy or say no and have a pouty "I'm going to my room" kid? My solution? Jonas has money, if he wants its, he buys it.
I'm all for finding joy, but where is the balance?
5 comments:
You are a great Mom jackie...I love hearing of your dilemmas!! Just imagine being me and not getting to ever have any of those moments you are talking about - that should help it to be easier to appreciate them!! haha We used to tell Maddy if you get it every time you ask then it becomes no big deal to have so sometimes we HAVE to say "NO". It might have been very convincing but it made us feel better!! :-)
I had the same thought about balance and enjoying the moment while teaching responsibility at the same time. I think that's why I love the priciples taught in love and logic so much... it allows the time for fun and learning through natural consequences at the same time. the theory is grea, it's the practicing it consistently that I struggle with.
This is a great post Jackie...I have always struggled with lessons like that. Not that you care--but here is my take on that whole theory. My job as a mom is to teach and nurture my children...to nurture a plant does not mean to spend every waking hour coaxing it to grow so why should it be that way with children. It is important to have a clean home (in fact, I consider it a commandment based on some scriptures and some conference talks) and so I try to incorporate that into the "joy in the journey" concept. My children need to learn how to find joy in EVERY moment...not just the ones where I can play with them.
So, I am often trying to think of ways to include them in the housecleaning or to let them see me "enjoying" the work. I agree that it is important to take time to play with my little ones and not get upset over the messes (easier said than done for me many days) but that does not give mothers a green light to ignore all other responsibilities or to neglect to teach their children how to work, etc.
I know this is already a little novel but I also have to add that another principle that I feel strongly about is teaching my children to play with each other and work out problems without my intervention...this means that there are lots of times that I send all four kids in the backyard and "ignore" them while doing something else. Also, kids need downtime to learn to enjoy peace and quiet and reading and exploring on their own--it's not my job to entertain my kids.
OK--that's more than you probably ever wanted to hear from me :). Thanks for letting me share my opinion! I would love to hear what conclusions you and Amberly come to on this topic!
Amen Becky! That is a great response. I believe everything she says. It is so important to have that balance of playing with your kids, having kids be able to entertain themselves, and having time to yourself and set aside to time clean your home. What a balancing act life is at times! Good post Jackie.
Just some thoughts:
1. Don't overanalyze what simple phrases like "finding joy in the moment mean." It simply means find joy, not quit being who you are.
2. Remember your job is to prepare yourself for exhaltation. In the process you prepare your family by default.
3. If having a clean house makes you happy, then clean it.
4. You can't do everything, so just do what you can and don't feel guilty.
5. You are loved.
6. Everything will be alright.
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