Table Manners for monkeys

I'm not sure if its an age thing or maybe because I have boys, but table manners at the Malone house looks like a bunch of monkeys at the zoo. I have recently made the boys sit in chairs as there was too much wiggling and touching and silliness on the bench when they were together. (Worse thing I ever did was buy the bench, sure its cute, but a pain in the butt.) A typical night usually involves the boys setting the table. They are getting pretty good at it, but there are nights I have to remind them that we need something to eat with. They are pretty good at remembering that we say prayers before we eat. We are still working on keeping our eyes closed during prayer though. And then we spend the next half hour constantly saying "eat your dinner", our oldest is a bit flighty and seems to forget what he is doing. "Use your fork, not your fingers" is another favorite we say. I mean, come one, not everything is a finger food here. "Don't wipe your hands on your pants" but its usually too late and you can see food smears all other the clothes. What we don't have a problem is them eating all their food. They seem to be pretty good, especially if there is dessert involved. We have a "you've got to take one bite" rule. And if they don't want to eat, fine, breakfast will be at 7am. So needless to say, I'm open for options on how best to teach the boys. What is most important? Where do I start, what works? Please help, I would be terribly embarrassed to send these boys off on missions still wiping their hands on their suits or having them say "this looks gross".